just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
