I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize