I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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