You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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