So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
