I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize