Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
