Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Too much gin, very little bucket
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
