Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
