The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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