We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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