seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
