he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
