Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
