I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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