just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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