Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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