I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
whose parrot is this?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
