So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
