I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Pants are for mortals
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
