So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
