I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
