Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
