Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
