we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize