haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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