so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
4 words: hood of his car
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
