please come you make the beer taste better
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
