my vag is so smooth its legendary
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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