Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
