We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
