Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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