Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
