Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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