I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
These tits shall not be calmed
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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