I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
