you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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