I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
