You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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