I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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