We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
