do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
