we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
