I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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