GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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