And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
