If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
