would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
