Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
