We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
