I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
