My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
