I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
