I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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