Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
a search helicopter?!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
