4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
