The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
