Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
vagina is talking i cant
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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