so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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